Penguin attempts waterskiing without a motorboat

Disclaimer

A few people have said that it is unfair to assume that a penguin is evil and planning to invade Scotland simply because the photograph makes him look like an evil dictator.

We do understand that penguins have only two expressions (beak open, beak shut) and will apologise if proven wrong by application in writing.

Breaking News: Evil Empreror Penguin Plans Next Evil Deeds

Reuters has reported that Pingu, Greenland's most notorious Penguin Dictator, is planning to invade Scotland by moving a fleet of penguins from the North Pole towards the Scottish North Coast. The operation has been codenamed "Pingu".

Greenland's Foreign Secreatary, Pingu, had no comment at the time of blogging this article, but intelligence has said that penguins could invade in as little as 45 minutes from the order being given from the Greenland Minister for Armed Forces, Pingu.

It is thought that the attack follows strong tension between Scotland and The Penguin's Republic of Greenland after years of fighting over whose side of the sea was whose, despite several attempts to paint a white line down the middle.

TPP will bring you more information as we get it.

Tragic Accident

A young penguin has fallen over while gazing at a passing aeroplane.


Unfortunately, with only flippers and very small feet, the youngster is unable to re-gain his balance, and to this day we do not know whether he has managed to get back on his feet.

As per usual, if you have nay information on this, please let us know.

This image comes some years later following the reports of penguins falling over while looking at areoplanes that were filed during the 1982 Falklands War. The United Kingdom took it upon itself to conduct a government study by flying two helicopters over the penguins at various heights, but they found no penguins toppled over.

The Penguin Page says; its time to re-open the case.

Security Information: This is NOT a penguin

This creature was caught on CCTV posing as a penguin. If you see this creature or have any information please call Crimestoppers UK on +44 (0) 800 555 111. Calls are confidential and you may qualify for a cash reward.

HOW TO SPOT A PENGUIN PHISHING

• Penguins are always both black and white. Many impostors are black or white, but not a combination of each.
• Penguins waddle humourously. Impostors tend to have more dignity when they walk.
• An impostors "quack" or "chirp" is usually higher or lower than a penguin's.
• Real penguins eat fish; if the penguin declines fish it is an impostor.

If you feel you have fallen afoul to a spoof penguin, send an email to spoof@ebay.co.uk immediately.

Note: eBay won't do anything, but it'd be funny if they started getting lots of emails about ducks posing as penguins. ;)

Image by Anarctica Police and www.freefoto.com

Welcome to the Central Database for Penguin Related Information

Penguin-related information is becoming increasingly important in today's society. Every day thousands of individuals are affected by penguin-related issues: and not all of them penguins themselves.

So lets start with the basics. This is what a penguin looks like:

As you can see from the picture, penguins are usually made from plasticine, have bright, red beaks (usually because all orange plasticine must be used for the feet), and always wave for the camera.

Penguins build nests in trees but they live in igloos. They usually eat fish, although some have been spotted eating North Atlantic Cod.

It is important to be able to tell real penguins from fake penguins, please see the previous post for an example.